Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Struggling - but learning.
I am my worst critic. I am the only person who can hold me back. And I am having a rough time with this internship I am in. I am not failing, but I feel like I could be doing a lot better. Because, my goal is to be teaching next year as a legit teacher/intern (intern because I won't have my teaching credential yet---but I still get paid), I put myself down for making mistakes.
Just to catch you up, I observed the teacher for about a week and a half. He then decided I was ready to take over and I have been teaching two periods, both level one, for a week and a half now. Yes, it has only been a little over a week and I am already struggling. What does it say when I get stressed over teaching level one??
Still, balancing school, my two groups at school, and the internship have been difficult. I am currently taking 3 Italian classes and because of my internship I feel this pressure to do my best. For my internship I make the lesson plans for each day. I have to regulate the discipline if the students become rowdy, I have to decide the best way to teach a chapter without having any experience. That's the hardest part - how am I going to teach something? Knowing what you have to teach is no biggie, but there is a technique that you have to do. You can't just give kids vocab words and expect them to learn them. They need to learn in context. They need pictures, repetition, written and oral. So much to take in at once.
And I feel guilty because I complain so much. It is not at all that bad. I mean, when a student gets a question right, when the kids are on a roll- participating, learning, engaging in the work I feel so proud because I am the one who has given them this knowledge. When I see a kid who has been doubting him or herself and I don't let them give up and then they finally get it, it's amazing. It is really empowering actually. I love teaching, and although I have been struggling a bit I know that I will get better.
This is it for me. This is what I want to do. The kids might not know how much I am doing for them, but looking back after community college and UC Davis, I look back at my favorite high school teachers and they really lead me to where I wanted to be. They always encouraged me to strive for the best and that's exactly what I want to do. I want to show kids that there is at least one person out there who cares about their future. I also hope the kids understand how much they are helping me. I will never forget them because they are my first class. I feel bad because they don't get a pro- but each day they teach me something new. I hope I become a teacher worthy of teaching these kids. That's all I want.
Just to catch you up, I observed the teacher for about a week and a half. He then decided I was ready to take over and I have been teaching two periods, both level one, for a week and a half now. Yes, it has only been a little over a week and I am already struggling. What does it say when I get stressed over teaching level one??
Still, balancing school, my two groups at school, and the internship have been difficult. I am currently taking 3 Italian classes and because of my internship I feel this pressure to do my best. For my internship I make the lesson plans for each day. I have to regulate the discipline if the students become rowdy, I have to decide the best way to teach a chapter without having any experience. That's the hardest part - how am I going to teach something? Knowing what you have to teach is no biggie, but there is a technique that you have to do. You can't just give kids vocab words and expect them to learn them. They need to learn in context. They need pictures, repetition, written and oral. So much to take in at once.
And I feel guilty because I complain so much. It is not at all that bad. I mean, when a student gets a question right, when the kids are on a roll- participating, learning, engaging in the work I feel so proud because I am the one who has given them this knowledge. When I see a kid who has been doubting him or herself and I don't let them give up and then they finally get it, it's amazing. It is really empowering actually. I love teaching, and although I have been struggling a bit I know that I will get better.
This is it for me. This is what I want to do. The kids might not know how much I am doing for them, but looking back after community college and UC Davis, I look back at my favorite high school teachers and they really lead me to where I wanted to be. They always encouraged me to strive for the best and that's exactly what I want to do. I want to show kids that there is at least one person out there who cares about their future. I also hope the kids understand how much they are helping me. I will never forget them because they are my first class. I feel bad because they don't get a pro- but each day they teach me something new. I hope I become a teacher worthy of teaching these kids. That's all I want.
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